The Very Reason This Category Exists

I did it to myself.  I always do.  I never learn.

Saturday morning I was looking back over some previous posts and noted that recently I've been posting a lot of videos, and really hadn't written anything snarky or bitchy lately.  My conclusions were that life was good, and when life is good I have a tendency to overlook little nitpicky things that are annoying.  Therefore, you get videos instead of me whining about meaningless crap.

My girlfriend had an appointment for a massage Saturday, and it was my job pleasure to take her to the massage parlor spa.  Given everything she's been through over the past few weeks, she absolutely deserved one.  I would then have an hour to myself to wander around the shopping center and do the things I wanted to do.  Groovy.  I had some cash burning a hole in my pocket and wanted to hit a few places for some fun stuff.  All I needed to do first was pick up a couple quick items at Target.

I was also given one assignment while at Target.  I had to find an amusing wedding card to give to fellow co-workers later that evening at their wedding reception.  No sweat.

The main item I needed was body spray.  I was completely out, and I needed some to freshen up with before the party, as there wouldn't be time to take another shower later. 

A few months ago I had to "switch scents" because the body spray I'd been using for a year suddenly disappeared from every store in town.  Well guess what.  Now the opposite is true.  The old scent is everywhere, while the new one that I'd been using was nowhere to be found.  There wasn't even a shelf tag for it.

This wouldn't that big of a deal, but since I'm kinda anal about this stuff I like to use the same company's scent for my body wash and deodorant as well.  So this means that if I can't find my stuff somewhere else I'd have to start all over again and buy three new products, wasting what I already own.

Anyway, I then got to the greeting cards and noticed that everywhere there's a placeholder for a "wedding" card, the slot was empty.  Three aisles of cards and not one moderately entertaining wedding one in site.  I'd have to look for the card elsewhere.

20 minutes had gone by.

I decided that I'd hit the nearby grocery store to check for the items I was looking for, and while I was there I'd also get to seek out some snacks I've been in pursuit of for the last week or so.  Last weekend I was at a get together with friends and one of the snacks served were these little asiago cheese crackers that were absolutely delicious.

But before I could go anywhere else, I needed to put gas in the car.  So I drive to the gas station and start pumping the gas, and... it's... coming... out... so... slowly.  Seriously, it was taking about a minute to pump each gallon of gas.  Fearing that this of course meant that the world was ending and there would be no more gas soon, I waited until the tank was full.

20 more minutes went by.

Now as I'm explaining this hour of chaos, enjoy your own sitcom-inspired images of me running around like a sweaty madman, then cutting to the image of my girlfriend being rubbed down by big 'n' beefy Andre the Superstud Massage Artist.  She's cooing and I'm having a meltdown.  It's fun.

There's a lot more to this, which I'll post tomorrow.

Comments

[JBH]

This is a good story, building nicely. Can hardly wait for the conclusion. The tale cries out for a companion post from the GFIQ.

The perspiration imagery hangs heavily over this story: 'No sweat', 'sweaty madman', 'meltdown'. This is good learning material. I have been a slow adapter in the whole body spray revolution. I guess my Zest bar soap and Old Spice deoderant don't cut it in this 3-way matching scent world.

[dvdguy]

I use the Old Spice as well. They make the same scents in soap, deodorant and body spray, so you can use the soap and deodorant, and then body spray as needed during the day and you won't clash.