The Very Reason This Category Exists: Part II

Continued from yesterday...

So I arrive at the grocery store, with 15 minutes left in my hour.  I was in search of crackers, a greeting card and body spray.  I found none of the three.  No one had heard of the crackers (and this was the location where they were bought for the party!), there wasn't even a place on the shelf for the body spray, and the greeting cards were lame.

My hour was now up, and my head was about to go all Scanners on me.  Little things were now starting to irritate me.  Why is the sun so close to the Earth right now?  Who are all these dickheads with Hummers?  Why is that baby staring at me?

Before I picked up my sweetheart from her rubdown o' bliss, I decided to push my luck a little and head to the Hallmark store.  Hallmark... you know, the place where they have a card for everything.

Turns out, they do have a card for everything.  And they have both funny and serious cards for everything.  Oh, except weddings.

Even though over 50% of all marriages end in divorce and half of the remaining half are a joke anyway, the event itself is apparently so sacred that you are not allowed to make light of it in greeting card form.  They had Congrats cards that say things like "Congrats on your promotion... if I blew the boss I would probably get one too!" and Get Well Soon cards that say "Sorry about your cancer, but look on the bright side, at least you won't have to eat hospital food much longer!"  But marriage?  Hell no, that ain't worth the funny.  Can't joke about that.  No sir.

Oh, and when in the hell did Secretary's Day become Administrative Professionals Day?

Thoroughly disgusted at this point, I just grabbed what I could and headed out to pick up my now totally relaxed and stress-free girlfriend.  If there was ever a perfect example of the personification of yin and yang, it was about to take place in my car...

To be continued tomorrow.

Comments

[Jellacle]

I am an administrative professional but not a secretary, so I appreciate the change in the day.
its really because support staff have insanely varying titles these days, and bosses are idiots and would say, my slaves title does not exactly match that - no gift!