An Open Letter to Female Strangers, Friends and Co-Workers

To whom it may concern:

This past weekend I attended a Halloween party and became aware, first hand, of a trend that people have joked about for years.  That trend being the shift away from Halloween being a scary holiday and instead towards Halloween being the day where you can release your inner slut.

This letter is to inform you that if you insist on dressing like a hooker this Halloween with your Grand Tetons hanging out... I will be staring at them.  Forget chivalry or good manners or people paying any attention to those pearls of wisdom that are coming out of your mouth.  All that matters, if you're dressed like a whore, is how big your boobs are and if you jump up and down a few times will they fall out of that sock you're calling a costume.

Now I can understand wearing something that's emulating something slutty, like say a Fergie, Madonna or Courtney Love get up.  But it seems like costume makers now will produce anything that lets ladies show off the goods no matter if it's appropriate or not.  Look, I'm a ladybug... with bewbs!  Check it, I'm a bumblebee... with bewbs!  Make way, here comes Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor... with bewbs!

Don't take my rant the wrong way ladies.  If you're over 18 and insist on dressing like a tramp that's your decision and I support it wholeheartedly.  That's why America is the greatest country on the planet.  My point though is that if your knockers are on display, don't get offended when that's all people pay attention to.

And don't think it's just me.   Every dude out there is thinking the same thing I am.  No dude out there is going to say "Gee, that's a cute bug costume you have there Sally."  They're going to be thinking how they can manage to find a way to trip and fall face first into your cleavage.

I'm just nice enough to write you this letter ahead of time.

Sincerely,

dvdguy
Executive Creative Director - The-Watercooler.com

Comments

[lesliedotcom]

Ahem...

So you can write this post with a straight face? After pulling a face when *someone* wanted to dress in a gross-out costume instead of looking slutty?

Interesting...

[dvdguy]

I really thought you knew I was kidding the entire time I was making that suggestion. Honestly.

[JBH]

I would have said you are out there alone on this one, but USA Today's Monday edition takes note of the same phenomenon.

http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/retail/2006-10-30-sultry-halloween-usat_x.htm

Since the article is in the 'Money' section, there's lots of retail price and demographic info, but they do include a couple of mildly naughty pix, and the first print reference I have seen to the "sexy grim reaper costume".

Mybe next year, equal time is in order. Might want to consider the 'hot cop' ensemble.

[dvdguy]

Just read your article JBH. I'm glad it pointed out that it's becoming a bit of a problem for those under 18.

I'm sure there'll be some sort of lawsuit over the kids who were sent home from school because they were practically naked.

Over 18? Dress however you want. Kids? Not so much.

[dvdguy]

Oh and no. DVDguy will not be in any kind of hot cop outfit. Dudes don't dress sexy on Halloween. Dudes, for whatever reason, see it as their chance to cross-dress. But that's another rant for another time.

[JBH]

Gee, DVD guy, I don't know about that "dudes don't dress sexy thing". On Saturday there were a bunch of guys dressed sexy: Biker with cheeks showing, a construction worker, an Indian. Oh, wait. Nevermind.

[dvdguy]

Mmmmmhmmmm. Exactly.

[jsb]

That tall skinny "Bishop Kenny slut" with the big wig was the hottest girl there.

[dvdguy]

Third hottest, behind the two ladies in our party.