The Brave Little Blogger

Most of you who know me know that I'm pretty much against smoking, drinking and drug use.  Personally I don't see the point in any of the three.  If you can't have fun without them, then you're doing something wrong.

What follows are some rather slapped together opinions of mine on each of the three issues.

I don't understand the comments I always hear from booze drinkers like "Oh man, did I pay for that the next morning!"  How is that worth it?  How is a headache and a general malaise worth your time and money?  If every time I ordered a chicken breast I woke up the next day with a headache, I tell ya, I'd never eat another chicken breast again ever... no matter who I was with in any kind of social gathering under the worst possible peer pressure.

I've documented my experience with alcohol elsewhere on this site.  In that situation I simply did it for the potential comedy, since I didn't know what kind of drunk I was and if I was the angry type it would be fun for all my friends to see me punch my boss in the face at our swanky Christmas party.

What I'm wondering today though is why people who do this stuff, get addicted, destroy their lives, and then attempt to stop doing it are labeled "brave".  Why aren't people who never give into temptation in the first place given this compliment? 

I see commercials for gum to help you stop smoking where someone tells the other person "See, I'm chewing the gum.  I'm trying to quit!" and the response they get is "Wow Bob, you're my hero!"  Yet, if I walked up to the same person and said "I've never smoked a cigarette a day in my life and have no desire to!" I'd just get stared at.  The people who sink to the lowest lows and try to get back to middle ground get more credit from people than those who've never gone there in the first place, and I don't get it.

I'm also wondering why it is in social situations that people get rather offended if you won't drink with them.  Someone will say "Wooooooooo! Come on!  Do a shot with me!" and I'll reply "I have my soda here, I'm good.  I'll take a drink of this while you down your shot."  Never seems to work the first time and I end up repeating "No, really, I'm good" several times before I get my point across, seemingly angering the shot drinker in the process.  It's still a beverage and we're both doing this ridiculous bonding act of swallowing it at the same time... why isn't that good enough?  Are you Captain Morgan's brother?  Did you brew this stuff yourself? 

Now if I said "I can't drink, I'm a recovering alcoholic" I guarantee you I'd get a look of respect and an answer like "Cool man, sorry to tempt you.  You're so brave."

I'm not trying to ruffle any feathers out there, since I know that essentially all the regulars who read this site drink and/or smoke.  And I'm not addressing any of you specifically, nor has anything you've ever said or done inspired this entry.  But hey, you want rants from me, this is what you get.

And I know smoking and drinking are legal.  You have absolutely every right to do them and I'm not arguing against that at all.  My point is simply that I don't understand why people feel the need to do it. 

Drugs however are illegal and I've never understood the need to gleefully flaunt the fact that you break the law, just because you don't agree with it. I'm looking at you, potheads.  I don't think prostitution should be illegal, but I don't go out and sleep with hookers to prove my point.

Okay... the comments section should be lively for this one...

Comments

[Denirogator]

You've ruffled my feathers! You feather ruffler!!!

As you know, I've never smoked or done drugs. And I've probably been drunk a total of 5 times maybe in my life. The first time, doing the same thing you were doing, just seeing what it would be like.

I could care less whether people drink or not though, actually I prefer it for the comic possibilities.

If it does anything positive for me, I can say it loosens me up and removes some inhibitions.

But to do it to the point of alcoholism is silly. I loved the South park that parodied the whole, "alcoholism is a disease" thing.

[dvdguy]

I don't necessarily mind someone drinking in my presence. I just don't like it when they feel like they have to include me. I'm fine with my Roy Rogers, thank you.

I guess my point is that I don't understand the NEED people have to drink. It's a weekend ritual for some people.

[melanie]

escapism. plain and simple.

[melanie]

escapism. plain and simple.

[melanie]

the robot doubled my message! there's a robot answering for me!

[melanie]

either that or i'm drunk!
tee hee hah!

[dvdguy]

Ok, an escape. I hear that all the time. Let's explore that. An escape from what?

She when I hear "escape" I think of someone convincing themselves "Oy, my job is so stressful, I need to get away from it."

So, isn't not being at the job an "escape"? If you use your time off to, say, watch a movie or go to the beach... isn't that escaping?

[melanie]

umm.. not necessarily. some people can tune out life's stresses by say, watching a movie.. others among us can't stop our wacky brains from run-run-running. this is where substances step in. right or wrong, that's the way it is. i'm sure you agree everybody's got different brain chemistry -- speaking for pot-heads everywhere,(i don't do it anymore - what w/ being a mom now), it makes everything and everyone around you a lot more pleasant... liken it to putting a soft lense on a camera... makes you not get pissed off at the nonsense all around... just gives everything a nice soft glow while not losing control as per alcohol. onto alcohol, like denirogator said, it lowers inhibitions.. makes it a lot easier to socialize if you've got social anxiety-- which lots and lots of us do--loosens ya up - makes you less self-conscious - YOU can attest to that -- now, i agree that when you drink too much one becomes a complete jackass, but that's where the brain chemistry comes back into play--addiction - brain forgets to tell you to stop. onto cigarettes -- gross! don't know why anybody does that! yuck!

[dvdguy]

So if I smoked weed, I'd have nothing to blog about, what with everyone having a nice soft glow about themselves.

[melanie]

correct. nor would you have the ambition to do so, even if you had something to rant about.

[dvdguy]

Sounds like Randy's line to Stan from South Park is pretty accurate then:

"Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and ...it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but... Well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored and... It's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or... being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything."

[melanie]

yes and no. some of my best home-decorating was done w/ credit to that soft-lense. mind you -- if i ever catch ava partaking --SHE'S IN BIIIIG TROUBLE!
hypocritical? sure. but it's true - that it can certainly quash the desire to be productive--but not always -- i would get lots of housecleaning, gardening, 'artsy' stuff done that way... just didn't necessarily feel like learning science.

[dvdguy]

Why would she be in big trouble? It was ok for you. What's changed is what I guess I'm asking... not being confrontational.

What if she reads this in 15 years?

[melanie]

i'll be honest... and i will tell her that her genetic code carries way too much addictive tendencies.. that while her mom was always able to get her work done and act together, not so the case for her dad. in her dad's case, it was absolutely a 'gateway' to worse stuff.. plus, you end up surrounding yourself with people who run far higher a risk of being non-producers, if you will. basically, it's not worth the risk. now, if she's 27 years old, has a good job and successful life, and i find out she smokes a little weed at the end of the work day, so long as there aren't any kids around, it probably won't ruffle my feathers all that much. but while under my roof, it won't happen. why i don't do it now: because it makes you careless/forgetful, and that's not something i would ever risk being w/ a little one to take care of...aside of course, from obvious legal ramifications.. but when i was the only one i had to worry about it -- yeah - a good way for me to unwind at the end of the workday -- take a nice walk around the lake and what-not.. cured what ailed me. i can't really make apologies for that, b/c i don't think it's so bad -- as long as, you keep your shit together in other aspects of your life -- not everybody does..

[dvdguy]

You know, I always brought up that "gateway" business and you'd just put me in a headlock, then throw Feedy, our mascot soccer ball keychain on the floor before finally storming out of the room.

[melanie]

now that's just a filthy lie. i would never hurt feedy. nor would i storm from a room. i'm more of a prancer really.

[melanie]

in an interesting side-note, i have to obnoxiously point out that while you think it's silly for people to discuss their roads towards sobriety, and to be proud of themselves, while they never should have gotten themselves in that situation in the first place, you yourself blogged your progress in your weight-loss project.. one could argue the same about your overcoming the urge to consume dr.thunder, mountain blast, snickers bars, and hot pockets. (it's true - chicks remember EVERYTHING)

[Denirogator]

hehee! Check mate!

though I'm sure dvdguy is going to say that nobody calls him "brave" for not eating as much.

[dvdguy]

Ok, I'll give you half a "touche" on the weight thing, but then again not really.

My point was NOT against those making strides to redeem themselves, but for the credit they get from others. It doesn't make sense why someone quitting something that they've been doing for years gets more credit than someone who's never given into that temptation at all. Sure I understand it from a motivational standpoint... but to those of us who've never given into the darkside it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

I guess at this point I should say how brave you are Melanie, for avoiding the temptation of my luscious Hot Pockets all those times.

What the deuce is Mountain Blast though?

[dvdguy]

DG: Checkmate this.

Melanie: And also, if I'd posted a video instead of blogging about something (ie the weightloss) I'd catch shit from every single person here. Don't like my topics? Then quit yer bitchin'. :)

[lesliedotcom]

I'm back from a vacation which included a few pub crawls and would love to add my $.02

I am not offended in the least if I want to have a drink and someone that I'm with does not care to have one. I will admit to asking (more than once) if the non-drinker would like something, but that is due to the Southern Hospitality Genetics-- if you choose not to eat, I'm gonna keep asking if you're sure that you don't want just a little something? I feel like it's my job as a hostess.

With that said, let me turn the table for a moment... I AM offended when an avowed non-drinker who knows that I do drink is constantly suggesting that I get an adult beverage. You've never done this to me, and I appreciate it as much as you appreciate being left alone with your soda.

My theory is that some drinkers feel uncomfortable or distrustful (is that the right word? mistrustful?) of a non-drinker in a drinking setting. Why? I dunno.

The drug thing, well, to each his own. Not my thing, but I respect any adult's right to make their own decisions. I agree with Melanie re: my kids-- not in my house, and not until they're legal adults... they have to be old enough and ready to pay the price if they're caught (that whole legal thing, dontcha know).

And I like the conversation. :-)

[dvdguy]

Well, welcome back Miss LDC!

So can any drinkers out there fess up to why they feel offended if you don't "drink" with them? Even if you're drinking a beverage? Is it a comfort/trust issue?

[denirogator]

I don't trust you when you don't eat my potato chips. I think you must be up to something.

[lesliedotcom]

::crickets::

[Anna]

I don't drink or smoke or any of that other stuff anymore. I was never much of a drinker,never smoked. I did smoke pot maybe 3 times in my life(I was like 17 or something)...but I HATED it.
Anyway, I think the drinkers get offended because they want to make sure that there are no sober witnesses. They don't want to be reminded of the jackass thing they did last night.LOL.
And If they are puking in the morning, they want EVERYONE to be puking in the morning. A share the pain kinda thing.

My old best friend would buy me shots and get pissed when I wouldn't want them. I went to her house last summer and she bought some liquer "just for me" she said.Yeah Right, she just wanted an excuse to make it ok to get drunk around the kids....BTW I didn't drink anything.

Just my 2 cents, you can spend it or save it.I don't care, I just wanna particapate in an adult conversation!!LOL