How Far Will You Go to Get It?

So I'm at the store today to pick up some orange juice to help ward off this killer bird flu that I can't shake. Apparently Diet Mountain Dew Code Red has no medicinal use whatsoever. Anyway, so I'm looking through the 900 different kinds of OJ out there and on the back of one particular brand I see "Shake Well Before Enjoying".

Enjoying? When did the marketing pinheads take over the simple "Shake Well Before Opening" stamping department? Now I'm under tremendous stress to do some enjoying after the shaking. I can't take the pressure. I just wanted to shake and open.

Also, while waiting in line, a woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked "Sir, I have but three items, may I go ahead of you?"

To which I replied, "Ma'am, I only have three items as well. This is the express lane." Then I pointed to the 10 Items or Less sign directly over her head after showing her that I indeed only had three items.

She responded with this look of utter disgust, almost as if to say "How DARRRRRREEEEEEEEE you! I am but a poor woman and chivalry will not be dead today good sir!" and actually wandered off to another register. As I was leaving with my three items I noticed that she was nowhere near the cashier of the line she'd chosen to storm off to.

Comments

[anonymousfriend]

I still haven't forgiven you for refusing passage to me on that day. For shame!