Fight!

In honor of nothing in particular, here are five of the most ridiculous motion picture fight scenes ever, ordered from least ridiculous to most ridiculous:

5) Rocky Balboa vs. Thunderlips (Rocky III) - Ok, so this was meant to be silly and was slightly inspired by some business that went down between Muhammed Ali and Gorilla Monsoon years before. But still, it was li'l Sly Stallone vs. Hulk Hogan.

4) Edward Norton vs. Himself (Fight Club) - Sorry, but I still don't buy the big amazing twist in Fight Club. It doesn't make a lick of sense, partially because of one shot where Norton's alter ego is dragging him along the ground... which is kinda impossible no matter how crazy you are. Oh, and if I spoiled the end of this movie for you... it's been seven years. You've had time.

Edit: 3) Robin vs. his laundry (Batman Forever) - Ashraimi reminded me of this one. I'd actually forgotten the last two 90s Batman films completely (thank goodness), so I went back and checked my Seven Things I Hate About Batman Forever review from back in the day. And there it was: "Fifth, did anyone else find it stupid when Robin had a fight WITH HIS LAUNDRY??? Was this supposed to be a cool moment?" I now have a very vague recollection of the scene, but I'll trust my old review and Ashraimi's knowledge of all things suck.

2) Steven Seagal vs. Some Drunk Guy (On Deadly Ground) - As I recall, in a bar some drunk guy is pestering eskimo scientist-Canadian-firefighter-whatever Seagal which results in one of those reflex slapping contests. You know the ones... you hold out your hands and someone else puts theirs on top of yours and you try to slap their hands before they can pull back. Something quick would have been tolerable. But this scene goes on FOREVER. And it's just the slapping game! Amazingly, the presence of Michael Caine, Joan Chen, Billy Bob Thornton, John C. McGinley, R. Lee Ermey and Bart the Bear in this movie don't even come to mind no matter how hard I try to recall them. But the ludicrous slapping fight is forever burned into my brain.

1) Dolph Lundgren vs. George Segal (Army of One) - I realize I'm the only person who's ever seen this movie, as I had an unjustifiable desire at one time to see every movie George Segal ever made. But it was worth it to see the climactic battle between washed-up muscle man Lundgren and 70 year old banjo player Segal. I'm not joking. These two legendary titans put up their dukes at the end of this movie (over what I don't know). I'm 99% sure it's nothing but Lundgren kicking Segal's ass... but it goes on much longer than it should, considering the participants.