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October 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

See Saw

I always like to try and watch a bunch of horror movies in October to get in the Halloween spirit, and usually end up failing at watching much of anything.  But this year I actually got a few in.  Here's what I viewed...

Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane - Ugh.  Obviously made to cash in on the assumed success of Snakes on a Plane (which never happened), Flight of the Living Dead had so much potential to be just as much goofy fun as Snakes, but boy does it ever suck.  It's not even fun in a bad way.  The zombies act like vampires and aren't remotely convincing at any point.  Kevin J. O'Connor (The Mummy) provides a laugh or two near the end, and hey, Richard Tyson (Two Moon Junction) is still alive.  Neat.  Rating: 0.5 stars out of 5.

Sawtrilogy_2 Saw, Saw II and Saw III - Watching these all back to back makes for a pretty good time, thanks to their solid continuity that is all too rare in horror franchises.  The first suffers from some horrible acting by both leads (the usually good Cary Elwes and screenwriter who shouldn't act Leigh Whannell) and the second has too many useless characters, but overall these are three smartly written scary flicks.  Saw rating: 4 stars out of 5Saw II and Saw III rating: 3.5 stars out of 5.

Dead Silence - Seriously one of the worst horror movies ever made by a major Hollywood studio.  It kept reminding me of the "scary" Tooth Fairy movie Darkness Falls thanks to its ridiculous backstory.  The plot makes no sense if you think about it either (people who are intended targets are allowed to live until the very end of the film only for the sake of the audience).  And there's a "twist" ending that is obvious from a mile away.  Considering this was made by the writer and director of Saw makes it even more disappointing.  Rating: 0.5 stars out of 5.

Bug - Or WTF?: The Movie.  I went into this film completely cold, knowing only who was in it (Ashley Judd, Harry Connick Jr.) and who directed it (William Friedkin).  Oh and that the box makes it look like a horror film, *which is most certainly is not*.  Now let me state up front: I do not like this film.  However, I do admire its unpredictable quality and also the acting is top notch.  I was interested from start to finish, I just don't like where it ends up.  And yet I'd still say you should see it, if only as a fascinating look at mental illness and loneliness.  Or if you just like scratching your head.  Rating: 2 stars out of 5.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Just When I Thought I Was Out...

Laurapalmer There was no mention of this in any of this week's sales ads, so it never crossed my mind until being reminded just a few hours ago that today is Twin Peaks Day (again).  Yep, two big Twin Peaks related items hit stores today.

The first is Paramount's Definitive Gold Box Edition DVD set, which contains both versions of the US pilot episode (never before available on DVD), seasons 1 and 2, and a number of extras.  Despite the name (which has nothing to do with the series... there's no "gold box"), I'm very much looking forward to this set.

The second, and I can't believe it's actually out, is another soundtrack album featuring music from the series and film that did not appear on either of the two previous releases.

I thought I was finally done after my rather exhaustive look at Twin Peaks on DVD a few months back, when I reviewed Season One, Season Two and the prequel film Fire Walk With Me.  But it looks like there's going to be more to say...

Bro Who Got Tased Won't Be Charged, Apologizes

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) - A University of Florida student who was shocked with a Taser after persistently questioning Sen. John Kerry won't face criminal charges and has apologized for his actions, his attorney said Tuesday.

Andrew Meyer, 21, yelled "Don't Tase me, bro!" as he scuffled with officers during the on-campus speech last month. In letters to the university, its president and the campus police department, he apologized, attorney Robert Griscti said.

"I made the decision to supersede the rules, and for that I apologize," Meyer wrote. "I should have acted calmer and obeyed the directives of the officers. If I had, none of the subsequent issues would ever have arisen."

Prosecutors had no immediate comment.

Meyer demanded a chance to question the former Democratic presidential candidate about the 2004 election and his and President Bush's alleged involvement in the secret Skull and Bones society when they were students at Yale University in the 1960s.

Officers rushed Meyer after he kept shouting questions, finally shocking him in a scuffle captured in at least 19 video clips.

Segments distributed online - including Meyer's now-famous yell - won immediate attention. The officers involved returned to work last week after the Florida Department of Law Enforcement determined it was an appropriate use of force.

University police had recommended Meyer be charged with resisting arrest with violence, a felony, and disturbing the peace and interfering with school administrative functions, a misdemeanor.

In his letters, Meyer denied allegations he intended to cause a scene.

"I'm so sorry that I lost my control in that auditorium," he wrote. "I went there to ask an important question. The question of voter disenfranchisement in America cuts to the heart of our democracy, and my failure to act calmly resulted in this important town forum ending without the discourse intended. For that, I am truly sorry."

Meyer, a communications major, said he was taking a leave of absence but would return to school in January. He pledged to Bernie Machen, the Florida president, that he learned from the incident.

"I am a far more reasoned individual than I was a short while ago, and the reasoned response of the university has helped me a great deal," Meyer wrote.

Monday, October 29, 2007

News Anchors Get Scared Real Good

This comes from a Sacramento, California morning news show (KXTV News10) where the crew pulls a prank on the anchors.  A couple of them don't react entirely favorably at first...

Mmmm, Meat Hat

Meathat From the hatsofmeat.com FAQ:

Q: How do I discourage flies and dogs from pestering me when I am wearing a hat of meat?

A: A squirt-gun filled with lemon or lime juice is an excellent canine deterrent. A thin coat of hairspray on your hat of meat will keep the flies away.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Check Out This Guy's News Hair

Newshair

Part two of the ABC25 Summer '99 Blooper Reel is up now at Watercooler Films.  Check it out.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Don't Tase Me, Bro! Justifiably Tased

Well I can't say I'm shocked (heh), but as it turns out, University of Florida police were justified in using a Taser against a student who refused to stop questioning Sen. John Kerry on campus last month, according to a state investigation that was released Wednesday.

Good.

For those of you who think this was an unlawful arrest, let's go over some of the facts.  First, here's the reason the douchebag was detained, according to the report:

The UPD's initial contact with (Meyer) and subsequent arrest was for violation of Florida State Statute;

877.13 Educational institutions or school boards; penalty for disruption.--

(1) It is unlawful for any person:

(a) Knowingly to disrupt or interfere with the lawful administration or functions of any educational institution, school board, or activity on school board property in this state.
(d) To conspire to riot or to engage in any school campus or school function disruption or disturbance which interferes with the educational processes or with the orderly conduct of a school campus, school, or school board function or activity on school board property.
(3) Any person who violates the provisions of this section is guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.

Pretty clear cut.  The report then says that the officers' intent was to escort Meyer from the room, but he freed himself and continued to refuse to follow the officers' instructions.

The report goes on to say that officers did not want to use pepper spray on Meyer because the room was crowded with spectators who could have indirectly been affected by the release of the chemical. They also concluded during the incident that using force to restrain Meyer might have hurt him more than a taser, and that escalating to hard empty hand strikes, kicks, knees or the baton would have looked like the officers were beating Meyer into submission.

"In short, the FDLE determined that our officers acted well within state guidelines," university President Bernie Machen said in a letter to students, faculty and staff.

The report also goes on to document Meyer's predisposition for acts of douchebaggery.  While concluding that Meyer's website containing stunts and other nonsense was protected speech under the First Amendment, public incidents prior to the Kerry event were brought to light. 

A week before, at a rally for supporters of Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, Meyer was seen by several witnesses kicking signs and acting "boisterous and provocatively".  Meyer then had a confrontation with a female student and was overheard saying to an unidentified friend that if they liked what he'd just seen "then he should go to the Kerry speech and he would really see a show".

Also in the report is the timeline of events that led to the taser attack.  Meyer had been warned repeatedly while in line to ask Senator John Kerry a question that if he didn't calm down, campus police would be summoned.  There is an initial confrontation with police (not seen on any videos) but then the officer and Kerry allow Meyer to ask his question anyway.  When he starts rambling on about President Clinton receiving a blow job, one of the administrators of the event makes a gesture to have his microphone cut off.  When this happens, Meyer continues to babble and the officers then attempt to remove him from the auditorium.  Meyer resists, breaks free, tries to return to the front of the room, and eventually gets tased for acting like a total jackass.

While en route to jail, Meyer didn't realize that he was being recorded.  He tells the officers that they didn't do anything wrong, and then asks if there will be cameras at the jail.  He calls his father twice from jail, and both calls are also recorded.  According to the tapes he is elated that the events have taken place.

So those of you who have championed this kid as some kind of hero in the face of an unjust and corrupt police state, take note.  He went into the event with the intention of disrupting it, didn't comply with officers when both asked to leave and when being removed physically, resisted arrest, and got his ass tased as a result.  And now he'll probably find a way to profit from his internet catchphrase.  He's not a victim folks, just a douchebag.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Sometimes you get a good hotel room, sometimes you don't

I watched two movies the other day that revolve around hotel rooms.  The first was 1408, the Stephen King short story-based flick that didn't promote itself as being based on a short story by Stephen King.  Why?  Because in the last few years, marketing departments finally realized that people don't think The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile when they hear "based on a story by Stephen King".  They think The Mangler and Graveyard Shift.

1408 1408 is no Shawshank Redemption... let's just go ahead and get that out of the way now.  After a great set up and a rock solid first act, things fall apart a little during the second act, and then the ending just breaks the movie entirely.  Well I say *the* ending, but this film has two or three fake endings along the way, which really gets annoying.  And look, I thought the ending to Jacob's Ladder was clever too, but too many movies try and copy it these days (including this one) and well once was enough.

So not only does the movie have several fake endings, but it also has at least three real ones.  The DVD I rented included two alternate endings, the first of which absolutely sucked and the second is how the movie should have ended.  Seriously, the second alternate ending, depending on your interpretation of it, works best for the movie overall.  And the fact that it's open to interpretation is what makes it even better than the  final scene in the theatrical cut.

So aside from my problems with the final third of the film, I really enjoyed John Cusack's performance here, even though the director didn't do enough to protect his lead actor from looking rather foolish at times.  Cusack is called upon to basically lose his mind as the movie unfolds, which he does, but sometimes some of his acting choices make him look, well... goofy.  Director Mikael Håfström could have made some different takes or made some better cuts here and there, in my humble non-director opinion.  Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Vacancy So I had high hopes for 1408 and ultimately they were dashed somewhat.  Conversely I had low expectations for the Luke Wilson-Kate Beckinsale hotel thriller Vacancy and came away pleasantly surprised.

I can't say that Luke Wilson is the best choice anymore for this kind of drama-suspense role, but he was serviceable enough.  The film essentially has only four cast members, and Ethan Embry's character could have used more screen time and better fleshing out.  If it had been me I would have taken his character in an entirely different direction.  Though again, I'm not a writer/director.

My one real complaint against Vacancy though is that it just stops when there's clearly a minute or two of story left to tell.  Come on, finish your movie, don't just end it.  Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Pumpkin Ruffians

A choice excerpt from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Pumpkins:

.....Pumpkins who have been subjected to any of these procedures should be treated with understanding and compassion, not left outside in the cold and rain subject to being physically assaulted by local ruffians. These procedures are being performed on Pumpkins as young as six months old. At this age Pumpkins are incapable of making independent decisions about their life. This is a tradition that is being forced on Pumpkins who don't even understand what tradition is yet.

This movement isn't as wacky as the Stop Clown Porn Now people, but since it's almost Halloween, it'll do.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Have a Coke and Don't Take My Money

Camo

I mean absolutely no disrespect here... but 60 years ago Japan was hellbent on taking over the world.  Today they're wearing outfits that transform into vending machines to avoid getting mugged.

Here's the story from the New York Times:

October 20, 2007
By MARTIN FACKLER

On a narrow Tokyo street, near a beef bowl restaurant and a pachinko parlor, Aya Tsukioka demonstrated new clothing designs that she hopes will ease Japan’s growing fears of crime.

Deftly, Ms. Tsukioka, a 29-year-old experimental fashion designer, lifted a flap on her skirt to reveal a large sheet of cloth printed in bright red with a soft drink logo partly visible. By holding the sheet open and stepping to the side of the road, she showed how a woman walking alone could elude pursuers — by disguising herself as a vending machine.

The wearer hides behind the sheet, printed with an actual-size photo of a vending machine. Ms. Tsukioka’s clothing is still in development, but she already has several versions, including one that unfolds from a kimono and a deluxe model with four sides for more complete camouflaging.

These elaborate defenses are coming at a time when crime rates are actually declining in Japan. But the Japanese, sensitive to the slightest signs of social fraying, say they feel growing anxiety about safety, fanned by sensationalist news media. Instead of pepper spray, though, they are devising a variety of novel solutions, some high-tech, others quirky, but all reflecting a peculiarly Japanese sensibility.

Take the “manhole bag,” a purse that can hide valuables by unfolding to look like a sewer cover. Lay it on the street with your wallet inside, and unwitting thieves are supposed to walk right by. There is also a line of knife-proof high school uniforms made with the same material as Kevlar, and a book with tips on how to dress even the nerdiest children like “pseudohoodlums” to fend off schoolyard bullies.

There are pastel-colored cellphones for children that parents can track, and a chip for backpacks that signals when children enter and leave school.

The devices’ creators admit that some of their ideas may seem far-fetched, especially to crime-hardened Americans. And even some Japanese find some of them a tad naïve, possibly reflecting the nation’s relative lack of experience with actual street crime. Despite media attention on a few sensational cases, the rate of violent crime remains just one-seventh of America’s.

But the devices’ creators also argue that Japan’s ideas about crime prevention are a product of deeper cultural differences. While Americans want to protect themselves from criminals, or even strike back, the creators say many Japanese favor camouflage and deception, reflecting a culture that abhors self-assertion, even in self-defense.

“It is just easier for Japanese to hide,” Ms. Tsukioka said. “Making a scene would be too embarrassing.” She said her vending machine disguise was inspired by a trick used by the ancient ninja, who cloaked themselves in black blankets at night.

To be sure, some of these ideas have yet to become commercially viable. However, the fact that they were greeted here with straight faces, or even appeared at all, underscores another, less appreciated facet of Japanese society: its fondness for oddball ideas and inventions.

Japan’s corporate labs have showered the world with technology, from transistor radios to hybrid cars. But the nation is also home to a prolific subculture of individual inventors, whose ideas range from practical to bizarre. Inventors say a tradition of tinkering and building has made Japan welcoming to experimental ideas, no matter how eccentric.

“Japanese society won’t just laugh, so inventors are not afraid to try new things,” said Takumi Hirai, chairman of Japan’s largest association of individual inventors, the 10,000-member Hatsumeigakkai.

In fact, Japan produces so many unusual inventions that it even has a word for them: chindogu, or “queer tools.” The term was popularized by Kenji Kawakami, whose hundreds of intentionally impractical and humorous inventions have won him international attention as Japan’s answer to Rube Goldberg. His creations, which he calls “unuseless,” include a roll of toilet paper attached to the head for easy reach in hay fever season, and tiny mops for a cat’s feet that polish the floor as the cat prowls.

Mr. Kawakami said that while some of Japan’s anticrime devices might not seem practical, they were valuable because they might lead to even better ideas.

“Even useless things can be useful,” he said. “The weird logic of these inventions helps us see the world in fresh ways.”

Even some of the less unusual anticrime devices here reflect a singular logic. A pair of women’s sunglasses has wraparound lenses so dark no one can see where the wearer is looking. These are intended to scare off sexual harassers on Tokyo’s crowded trains, where the groping of women is a constant problem.

The same is true of some of the solutions for schoolyard bullying, a big problem in Japan. Kaori Nakano, a fashion historian, wrote a book with a chapter on how to ward off bullies with the “pseudohoodlum” attire. Her advice includes substituting a white belt for the standard black one in Japanese school uniforms, preferably with metallic studs or tiny mirrors, and buying short socks with flashy patterns.

“Japan is so fashion conscious that just changing the way you dress can make you safer,” Ms. Nakano said. “Culture plays a big role in risk prevention.”

Ms. Tsukioka said she chose the vending-machine motif because the machines are so common on Japan’s streets. For children, she has a backpack that transforms into a Japanese-style fire hydrant, hiding the child. The “manhole bag” was also her idea.

Ms. Tsukioka said her disguises could be a bit impractical, “especially when your hands are shaking.” Still, she said she hoped the designs or some variation of them could be marketed widely. So far, she said, she has sold about 20 vending-machine skirts for about $800 each, printing and sewing each by hand.

She said she had never heard of a skirt’s actually preventing a crime. But on a recent afternoon in Tokyo, bystanders stared as she unfolded the sheet. But once she stood behind it next to a row of actual vending machines, the image proved persuasive enough camouflage that passers-by did not seem to notice her.

She said that while her ideas might be fanciful, Japan’s willingness to indulge the imagination was one of its cultural strengths.

“These ideas might strike foreigners as far-fetched,” she added, “but in Japan, they can become reality.”




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