Pockets of Sanity

24, American Idol and More on Carson

24 - Day 4: Hour 6
Well, "24" loves to do this. They'll seemingly wrap up everything, and then go in an entirely new direction. Usually this happens 10-12 shows into the season, but this time it has happened early.

Turns out the whole trial of the Secretary of Defense was for show, so the increased internet activity would mask the terrorists true goal: gaining remote access to every nuclear power plant in the United States.

Lots of stuff happened in this show, plus Jack got to get that crazy look on his face and kill lots of people, while William Devane got to run around with a gun again (hooray!).

Also, snoopy Marianne is working for the terrorists (shocker) and Audrey's creepy ex-husband is now lurking around CTU. No doubt he'll be grabbing some guard's gun to kill Jack with. And don't forget, Driscoll's schizophrenic daughter is still waiting in the wings.

American Idol Auditions
Nothing much worth noting from last night's auditions in New Orleans, but I did want to mention a few things I forgot from last week.

I am rooting very hard against the wannabe rock star dude, whatever his name is. He's such a jive, slickyboy, cliche-spouting turd that I hope he gets trounced in the next round. And nothing is more hilarous than hearing someone sing a hard rock song without any music at all being played. All those goofy-ass Unhhhh's and Oh yeah's and That's Right's sound flat out retarded without guitar in the background.

Also, the producers/editors/whoever of "American Idol" lied to the audience at least twice, maybe even three times. For example, when they used what was labeled as "Band Video" during the whole backstory to turdboy's audition, that wasn't home video the band shot like they wanted us to believe. It was video from right before Seacrest telling everyone that their boy was going to Hollywood. What's the point of that? Why purposely lie like that? Just don't put up the graphic... no one cares that you shot it.

Johnny Carson Tributes
Since Johnny Carson's passing on Sunday, everyone has been running classic clips from "The Tonight Show". Unfortunately, it seems as though the only footage sent out to the networks from Carson's production company comes from those tapes that were released after Johnny's last show. It was a good three hours or so of footage, which is now being narrowed down even further. So Carson's 34 year legacy now consists of about 10 minutes of footage repeated over and over and over again.

On Jay Leno's Monday night show, it was one big tribute to Johnny, with visits from Ed McMahon, Don Rickles, Bob Newhart and Drew Carey. Leno's monologue was touching, but the rest of the show was a little awkward. And of course, the clips shown were all from those Best Of tapes.

Letterman is off all this week, so it'll be interesting to see what he does on his next show. If you recall, Carson made his last official TV appearance on Letterman's show when Dave was broadcasting in Los Angeles for a week (he appeared in a taped bit, and then later in the studio where Dave gave up his desk to Carson). I'd be surprised if they don't show that footage.

Despite my complaints though about the rehashing of footage, the stuff that's been shown is great. Seeing it again is just a reminder of how naturally funny Johnny was, and how there's no one like him on TV today.

Kornheiser Takes His Shots

As many of you know, the Super Bowl will be in my backyard next week. Not literally, of course, but here in Jacksonville anyway.

The national media is expected to ridicule and destroy our city.  One such person has gotten an early start.

Washington Post columnist and former ESPN Radio host Tony Kornheiser has written a scathing attack on my fair city (titled "What's That Smell? Jacksonville"), sure to ruffle the feathers of those of you who take pride in your city. Get used to it though, this is just the first of many to come.

Personally, I don't mind this one. Kornheiser is one hilariously old crusty bastard and his radio show was one of the highlights of my day. Knowing how he talks only enhances his written work, since they're both in the same style. Those of you outside of Jacksonville will find it very funny. Those of you here in town will more likely be burning Kornheiser in effigy.

You can read the article here at the Washington Post.  You'll have to register, but it's free to do so and worth it.

24, American Idol and SNL

24 - Day 4: Hour 5
This was one of the reset button shows... where basically everything that happened before is done away with, leaving you with the question "Ok, well what now?" Basically, Chloe is gone from CTU (mostly because actress Mary Lynn Rajskub was also committed to appear on Kelsey Grammer's new sketch comedy show), and Jack has miraculously found the compound where the Secretary of State is being held and is about to storm in to rescue him.

My hat goes off to whoever wrote this episode for tapping into my brain with at least two lines of dialogue. First, I'm starting to warm up to the big guy Edgar, especially after he said to Marianne (this year's Sherry Palmer) "Just because you overheard some conversation doesn't make me your bitch". Later in the episode, Curtis very matter of factly tells her to stop snooping around and do her job, because "today is not the day for this". Finally some focus! It won't last of course, but it was good to hear someone say what I'd been shouting at the TV for weeks now.

I'm cringing though at the subplot where CTU chief Driscoll has brought her schizophrenic daughter into the building to be cared for by the CTU doctor. This can only have one of two outcomes. Either the daughter is going to go truly nutty and kill her mom, throwing CTU into some kind of power play for control, or she's going to go truly nutty and start smashing equipment, crippling some kind of important, nail-biting situation. I'll say this for Jack... when he was in charge he'd never let his daughter get anywhere near CTU and his business... no sir. Oh... wait...

American Idol Auditions
I know in the past I've ranted about how much I hate reality shows, but I do not mind "American Idol" in the slightest. Instead of vapid swimsuit models eating donkey testicles to get a chance to be an easily forgotten Playboy floozy, this is for people with talent who might not have ever gotten "their shot" otherwise. I'm all for rewarding talent. I'm also all for mocking those who are too stupid to realize that they don't have any.

I really wish the show would go deeper into the interviews with some of these truly insane people who hear something in their head that just isn't the same voice that is coming out of their mouth. Now, I fully expect that a ton of bad singers turned out for this season's auditions to try and get in on the William Hung method... being so bad that they end up becoming famous. At first, I almost thought that's what the final audition on the first night's show was doing. Mary Roach was her name, although she said if she got famous she'd be changing it to some name she made up that has an X in it, which is your first warning sign. I was convinced that she was being awful (and cocky about actually being good) on purpose, but her post interview, along with something I saw with her on "Inside Edition" the next night, proved otherwise. This woman just isn't all there.

There's no Matt Rogers for me to pull for this year yet, but I'm still hoping. Oh, and what song would I audition with? That's easy.

A case of earworm thanks to Saturday Night Live
Last year's Halloween episode (hosted by Kate Winslet) featured a song on Weekend Update sung by Will Forte. At the time of the show's live broadcast I halfway paid attention to this bit, as I've pretty much written off Forte as "the next Gary Kroeger". However upon second viewing, his goofy song about Halloween (sung a cappella and it eventually turns into the national anthem somehow) has gotten lodged in my brain. It's so goofy and so over the top that it now makes me laugh whenever I think about it.

It's weird how most of "Saturday Night Live" these days doesn't really work until a second or third viewing.

24: Hours 3 and 4

Ok, I'm already getting a little peeved at some of the directions "24" is taking.

In order to stall a suspect while the spy satellites are being positioned, Jack ends up staging a robbery in the gas station where the suspect is. Fine, no problem here, great stuff. However, what should have been a 10-15 minute stall tactic ends up being the entire episode, and the stakes just weren't raised enough during this time to make the whole thing interesting enough. It's like the writers are already spinning their wheels.

Its great though that Jack is just going balls out this year, throwing the rules aside with reckless abandon. Each time you start to say "Geez Jack, what the hell are you doing?" but then you realize "Well, what else was he supposed to do?".

Someone needs to fire everyone at CTU and get people in there who, you know, concentrate on their jobs. Each year there's always been a person or two snooping around, sticking their nose in other people's business... but good lord, this year EVERYONE is spying on everyone else. There's a major terrorist threat here people! Stop eavesdropping on one another and do your damn jobs!

And leave Jack Bauer alone.  He knows what he's doing.  Just help him out.  Sheesh.

24: Season Four Premiere

The first two hours of the fourth season of "24" aired last night on Fox. This year, it seems there's a group of Turkish terrorists out to cause harm to the United States. They've already blown up a train, stolen a mysterious briefcase, and kidnapped the US Secretary of Defense. The internets are under attack as well.

Of course, only former CTU agent Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) can save the day. And of course, no one gives this man his props and lets him do his job. Currently he's being thwarted at every turn by the new CTU chief, who fired him sometime between seasons three and four over his previous heroin addiction.

Good stuff last night. The show is still able to shock the audience on a regular basis, especially by killing off regular characters left and right. And the buildup to the end of each episode is truly intense. While the whole "real time" concept has gotten a little lazy, its still close enough for me. And William Devane as the Secretary of Defense was a lot of fun. He knows how to chew up the scenery in a fun way, and I hope his kidnappers don't keep him gagged for much longer.

And generally there's a character or two acting suspicious, either because they have something to hide or because its just to throw us off track. This season, it seems that EVERYONE is acting a little wonky. I feel lots of surprises coming on.

Why though would CTU hire a sloppy fat guy with a lisp who annoys the hell out of everyone? That guy is behind it all, mark my words!

Hours 3 and 4 air tonight at 8PM on FOX.

Muslims Upset by '24'

From IMDB.com:
An American-Islamic group has blasted the makers of Kiefer Sutherland's hit TV drama 24 after learning the first episode of the new season portrays a Muslim family as terrorists. Officials at the Council on American-Islamic Relations were made aware of the controversial episode after upset Muslims got hold of a promotional preview of the show, which airs next week. The council's spokeswoman Rabiah Ahmed says she's particularly disturbed by one scene, in which an American-Muslim teenager plots to kill Americans. She adds, "It casts a cloud of suspicion over every American Muslim family out there." Bosses at TV network Fox, who air the show, have yet to counter the comments.

Since this comes from the IMDB, the National Enquirer of the internet, you first have to narrow down the scope of the story. When they say that Muslims are upset, they mean one organization. And when they say organization, the probably mean a group of about three people. And when they say upset, they probably mean indifferent.

Now, that having been said, I wish organizations like this would devote as much time and effort into say, making sure that Muslims aren't engaging in terrorist activities, instead of lashing out at things they know nothing about. There aren't many Norwegians in Osama Bin Laden's terror network, I'd guess. Who was it who attacked the World Trade Center twice? The Backstreet Boys?

A promotional preview of the show? Why not just base your opinions on rumors overheard on the subway and let lawsuits fly. In the show's second season everyone was all up in arms because a middle eastern character was under suspicion of being a terrorist. Turns out he was completely innocent and it was his crazy WHITE fiancee who was the terrorist.

Let the story play out before you get all up in arms.  And when I say that, I mean just shut the hell up and go away.

Peace On Earth, Goodwill Towards Men

Now that the holiday season is over, I have a confession to make.  I HATE calling it the "holiday season".

This year was the first year that I became conscious that I was saying "Happy Holidays" to people instead of "Merry Christmas", which I've said since I was a youngster. How the hell did this happen?

Look, I know "He is the reason for the season" and all that, but Christmas has become its own entity, seperate from its religious beginnings. For a good number of people it's all about Santa and Frosty and Mr. Hankey and A Christmas Story, without any mention of anything religious whatsoever. The holiday is about charity, family and gift giving. What could possibly be so offensive about that?

I started to become aware of what I was saying after overhearing two incidents out in public. In both cases, a store clerk wished someone a Merry Christmas and then proceeded to get quite a hateful earful from the non-Christmas celebrating person. Imagine, a simple two word phrase meant to spread "peace on Earth and goodwill towards man" makes people angry.

What's worse about this "Happy Holidays" greeting is that it was usually delivered after sizing up the race of the person its being delivered to. "Is this friendly middle eastern man delivering my pizza going to be offended if I say Merry Christmas to him? Better be safe and just say Happy Holidays." To me that seems completely wrong and basically undermines the whole point of this time of the year.

Sure it's sad that we can't really find a way to be nice to one another except during the holidays, but if someone wished me Happy Chanukah or Kwazy Kwanzaa I wouldn't jack them in the jaw. I'd smile and say "to you as well" and be on my way. No one's saying "My Jesus bless you and keep you" or "Death to the infidels". Merry Christmas. Enjoy Santa. Look, a pretty tree. Here's a present.

On a related note: Anyone recall that story from a year or two ago where some idiot was suing the government for making Christmas a federal holiday, citing the whole church and state seperation blah blah crap? Luckily it was laughed out of the courts (a real shocker, considering that no judge is going to really rule in favor of something that would give themselves less time off). But suppose this guy would have been successful. Who was he suing for? Who would have been pleased by a decision in his favor? How much money would have been wasted on a lawsuit just to make one jerkoff in a turtleneck happy?